Ghosts Chasing Me
by Leonora Chris
Summary: Tony visits someone special. Flashback goes back to more than 10 years ago, when they met. It was little while after he had been disowned in the story 'He's A Good Boy'. AU. Part 2 of the 'Ghosts' series.


**__****(I don't own NCIS or the characters etc from it, only the story is mine.)**

**So since I started this series with a oneshot, I figured that why not do another oneshot before the actual sequel..? The sequel is also up now. It's called _'Ghosts From The Past'_. Let me know what you thought of this oneshot.**

**I kind of already had this thing written way before. I just added to it so that it fits better the GG and all the small changes I made in it. I wasn't sure if I should even post this, but decided to do it anyway. In case someone wants more of Tony and his brother.**

_**Leo**_

* * *

The bottle in his hand was starting to feel really heavy and he regretted not letting the cab driver bring him closer. After yet another escape stunt he had pulled in order to leave the hospital, he had still been under the influence of the good stuff and so he had overestimated his current condition.

He was on his way to the airport and decided to see someone before leaving. While he would officially become a NCIS agent only two months from now, the director had taken one look at him and his files and ordered him on sick leave. Passing out at the director's office with high fever certainly did not help his argument that he did not need any vacation which would last such a long time.

"Hey there..." Tony sat down and stared at the gravestone. Whenever he thought about Howard, it really hurt.

"I'm afraid I can't stay for too long this time... I'm going to Italy for a while... Figured it was finally time to meet the better half of my father's family... Sorry I'm late by the way... Work happened and I got hurt... By this really old stake of all the things and I left the hospital AMA, as you know I will always do as soon as I can walk or find a wheelchair... Instead of resting and healing at home, I met someone... You know him actually... Well, not him, but his family... He's _agent_ Gibbs now. Kind of funny, isn't it..? Just like me going to work in the same place you used to... It's called NCIS now... I wonder if I'll be anything as good as you were..."

He ran his hands over the cold gravestone. It felt so wrong somehow since Howard was never cold. Unless you were his enemy. Then he could become mister evil. Brutal and cruel, but always justified. '_Beloved son, brother and a hero_'. Somehow those words on the gravestone didn't seem enough and to this day he regretted how he had missed the funeral back then. His chance to say goodbye. Even if he'd been pumped so full of drugs that it was a miracle he knew which way was up and which way down.

"Oh, and then I got my ass hurt too... I'm not going to share that story though, sorry. And just a couple of days later I _may_ have passed out, but that's debatable... High fever and my chest wound was infected... Was really out of it for days... That's why I missed your birthday... Sorry..."

Tony took a key out from his pocket and showed it to the gravestone. "Someone killed her... Brutally... Gibbs tried asking behind my back if she could be repaired, but I already knew there was no way to fix that mess... Would've needed to completely replace too many things and it just would not have been same anymore so I told him it's okay and just forget it... It was kind of nice though he even tried..."

He started digging a hole on the ground, using the key which used to be his car key. "Don't worry... I've got the other one... We fixed her together so this should be with you... Anyway... You remember Bolton, right? The idiot cop who arrested me and then wet his pants when he met you. He's still an idiot, but this time I got him in such big trouble that I'm really not sure if he ends up simply losing his job or even faces some jail time... You'd think I've been an idiot myself for letting him get away with everything for such a long time... But before you get too mad at me, hear me out... I was an idiot because I kept saving up evidence for the big day when I could make sure that when he goes down, he stays down... Or if I would have died, then the right people would have found my secret safe deposit box... Always prepare for the unknown... That's what you taught me..."

While digging, he kept talking. Some may look at him strangely because of how naturally it all came out of him. As if the dead really was sitting there with him. For Tony, this was the only way to handle losing the most important person in his life. As much as he had loved Jeanne, his brother would always come first. Even in death. So he kept coming to the grave and took care of Howard's and Howard's father's grave as often as he could. The old man had died few years after Howard, leaving his humble possession to Tony. Even in death that family was looking after him... He would've visited Jeanne too, but he was already lucky enough that her old man hadn't killed him the only time he did ask where she was.

Happy with the small hole, Tony kissed the key and dropped it in there. Done with burying the key, he took the bottle of expensive wine he bought each year. Howard had expensive, but very good taste when it came to wines. Still, he never hesitated when he bought one each year.

"Come on... Don't give me that look. You know I'm old enough to drink this... Have been for years."

Opening the bottle, Tony took a big sip as he always did. What he didn't expect however was the burning feel he got when the drink passed his chest area. "Whoa... Okay... Maybe it wasn't such a good idea..."

He poured rest of the wine over the gravestone. "Happy late birthday..."

He stood up slowly. Knowing the cab driver would not wait much longer. "You and your father really saved my life, you know... I miss you, brother... I really do... Without you in my life, I would have never had any real and good role model... You were always the kind of man I hoped to be one day... I really should have taken your name and buried the last memory of my old man... I'll see you again when I return."

With one last look, Tony turned around and left the graveyard. The sound of the wind was to him like someone whispering to him. Comforting words and by the time he made it to the cab, he was smiling.

* * *

_**- OVER 10 YEARS AGO -**_

Howard was humming happily as he stepped out of his car. He was having such a good day for a change and he couldn't wait to tell his father the good news. A promotion and so soon! If his mother was alive, she would be so happy. While at the same time making sure this wouldn't change her son into prideful and arrogant person. Only to turn it back into joy and looks that told him exactly how proud she was.

"Dad?" He called when he opened the door with his own key. The key he hadn't been allowed to give away even after over ten years of living on his own. Which was good since he still had a habit of coming and going without letting his old man know in advance.

"Dad, you home?" The silence was almost mocking him for asking such obvious question. He had already seen that his father's car was gone from the driveway. It simply was his habit to ask the same question each time. A habit that was hard to break.

Opening the fridge in the kitchen, he frowned when he saw it was basically empty. So the reason why his father wasn't home was pretty clear now. As hungry as he was, he figured he could wait little longer. Making himself comfortable in the living room, he sat down to watch TV.

When the hours went by and his father still wasn't home when it was starting to get dark, Howard was starting to worry. What if his old man had passed out somewhere or had gotten into car accident? Or worst of the all possible scenarios: dead? Just when his mind was starting to fill with all the possible ways to die, all thanks to his work, Howard finally heard a car driving towards the house. And not just any car, but his father's.

"Thank God..." He muttered and relaxed on the couch. Not wanting to give his father a reason to think he'd been worrying. The front door finally opened and Howard could hear the familiar sound of shopping bags being carried inside. Then he heard his father talking to someone.

"Come on, son. Get inside and I'll make us something nice to eat. You're hungry, right..? I'm sure you are."

Howard frowned. "Dad? You brought a guest?"

"Howard? I did think I saw your car out there... Come here. I want you to meet someone."

With a sigh, Howard left his comfortable spot on the couch and walked slowly to the front door where his father still was. With a child. A young boy who couldn't be more than ten years old at most. The small thing looked so frightened and kept his eyes on his hands that kept playing with some expensive looking shirt he was wearing.

"Um... Hi..?" Howard hesitated. He wasn't exactly bad with children, but he wasn't that good either. He looked at his father with question in his eyes. To his surprise there was furious look in the old man's eyes. His father was kind and gentle man. He wasn't one to have the look of a killer in his eyes.

"Tony... This is my son, Howard. Remember, I told you about him? He's a good man. You can trust him just like you can trust me."

The kid, Tony, simply nods without looking up. Howard would have thought he was just being shy, but from the mood that now was in the room, he knew that was not the case. When he looked at his father for an explanation, the man shook his head and mouthed the word '_later_' to him.

"Tony. Do you want to take a bath? You could get yourself warmed and cleaned up. I'll bring you some clothes to wear. Howard should still have some of his old clothes somewhere."

Tony nods again and bites his bottom lip like he wants to say something, but no sound comes out when he does open his mouth.

"What is it, son? You can say it."

"Can I... Can I sleep after that..? I'm not hungry..." Tony's voice sounded strained and raspy and he ends up coughing.

"Of course you can. I'll bring you some medicine as well..."

His father left Howard standing at the door as he took the kid towards bathroom. Howard's eyes widened when he saw the back of the kid's white shirt. It was covered in something red which looked like... Blood? Clenching his teeth in anger, Howard picked up the shopping bags and took them in the kitchen. Unpacking them did not make him feel less anger. When he could sense his father standing behind him, he slams the fridge door close.

"Who is he, dad? Who hurt him? Did you call anyone about him yet?"

"Son..." His father sounded so tired. Like he's had long and hard day. Turning around, he saw there was deep shame in the old man's eyes.

"That's why I brought him home... So he wouldn't have to be put in the system... He's just twelve years old and-"

"Twelve..?" Howard croaked. There was no way that boy was twelve. Too small and too skinny for his age. If he truly was twelve then he had to be seriously underdeveloped physically... Who knew what his mental state was...

"He's had... Hard life... And I blame myself for not realizing sooner just how bad it was... Thank God that I'm the one who found him wandering on the street... Who knows what could have happened and what kind of people could have found him instead..." His father sat down heavily behind the kitchen table.

"You know him..?"

"So do you... I mean he was just a baby when you saw him, but you did hold him once..."

Something clicked in Howard's mind. "Tony... You mean he's Anthony junior? DiNozzo?"

His father nods and Howard joins him behind the kitchen table. While Tony was in the bath, the old man shared the sad tale of Tony. The life which not any of the relatives either knew about or if they did, they kept quiet. Family name that needed to be kept clean and all that. Howard was happy that he was related to Tony through the kid's mom. To share the same blood as that monster had to be horrible fate...

His father asked him to treat Tony like a younger brother because there was no way they would allow the child to be taken from them. Either by senior or the state. Howard promised he would try, but he did way more than that. He got his boss to take care of any and all issues that might want to take Tony away from them. Mike Franks had gladly helped out.

While having abused child under your care was tough task for anyone, Howard was secretly glad his father wasn't living alone anymore. The most shocking result out of this all however was how fond he himself started to become of the kid. Even if Tony barely spoke few words to him and only when he was asked something. Even so after his each visit at home, Howard noticed how little by little Tony was starting to look a little bit more relaxed and he was even becoming less jumpy. It was still a very long road to trust.

The beginning of an actual bond between the new brothers happened in the middle of a night, few months later after Tony came to them. Howard was recovering from a shooting incident and was staying at his childhood home. He didn't really sleep that night anyway since he couldn't find that perfect position to sleep where his injured shoulder wouldn't be in such pain. And he couldn't just keep taking new pills so soon after the last ones. So he simply suffered quietly in the night. Until he thought he heard someone crying. Since his father didn't have a habit of even mumbling in his sleep, let alone moving, he knew it was Tony.

Forgetting his own pain, Howard jumped out of the bed and ran in the guest room, which was now Tony's bedroom. The small lamp on the desk was on and Tony was sitting on the bed, hugging his pillow.

"Oh, kid..." Howard sighed, seeing for the first time truly how skinny the boy was. Instead of asking why he wasn't wearing his shirt, he carefully sat on the edge of the bed.

"Bad dream..?"

Tony nods and hugs the pillow even tighter. It was almost like he was seeking comfort from it. Howard found it really hard to not get all teary eyed himself at the sight. He could still faintly remember when his mom had been still alive. She would always comfort him and it always felt so nice to be loved and protected like that by someone. And once his mother died, his dad took over. At first in his own awkward way, until it became more natural for him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No..."

"It could help if you talk about it..."

Tony shook his eyes. "It's silly..."

"Why is it silly? Everyone has nightmares sometimes. Some people have them almost all the time. Like I do."

That got Tony's interest and he finally looks up with big eyes, bright from the tears. "You..?"

"Of course. You remember what dad told my job is, right? Well, my job can sometimes be really scary and I see some really scary things. So I have really bad nightmares all the time. Does that make me silly?"

"No..!" Tony sounded almost offended at the mere thought of it and Howard smirked. Without realizing it he had wrapped his good hand around the boy, who at first stiffened at the feel of the big and strong arm around him. Another big and strong hand had only brought him hurt and pain, but when nothing happened, Tony found himself relaxing and like a sponge he absorbed the warm feeling which he got from the tall man. It was a feeling which he didn't have a word for yet, but he had never felt so safe as he did now.

"You want to know how I get rid of my nightmares?" Howard asks and Tony nods his head with a pleading look in his eyes. Distantly Howard hoped the kid never found out what kind of effect those had on him. With that look on the kid's face, if he would decide to ask Howard to get him the world on a plate for dinner, he would go and get the kid the world on a plate for dinner.

Clearing his throat, Howard was grateful his fellow agents were not here to see him the big badass agent acting all soft. "I think happy thoughts. People I love. Good things that have happened to me or someone else. My favorite things. My dreams. What my future wife and kids would look like. I try to imagine my happy father, surrounded by ten grandchildren. I try to imagine the horror when I tell my future wife how many kids I want. I think about my favorite foods and what they taste in my mouth..."

"Food..?" Tony stared at him confused.

Howard smirks. "Yeah. Food. I happen to like food very much."

Tony just stares with big eyes. Again that dangerous, give me the world, look...

"Sometimes I call someone, like dad, when I have a really bad dream. Listening to his voice can really calm down all the monsters from the dreams. If I'm home, he can hug the bad dreams away."

"Oh..." Tony looked sad and Howard realized why.

"You know what... I'll give you my phone number tomorrow. Both home and work. Then you can call me when nothing else helps. Okay?"

"Okay..." Tony agrees softly. When Howards isn't saying anything, he hesitates before asking quietly, after the man nods his head encouragingly. It really shouldn't be this hard to get the kid speak out without looking for a sign or spoken approval that it was okay...

"What else..?"

"What else? Ah... And sometimes I fill my brains with the most boring stuff I can think of until I fall asleep and have my mind filled with some math equations or boring book... Once I decided to count numbers as far as I could. I still don't remember how far I got, but that night in my dream I was in a math class. The bad guy from my previous dream held me as a hostage and made me do math homework." Howard laughed at the memory. Truthfully for him that dream had been just another nightmare, but the kid didn't need to know it... Just like he didn't need to know that there were certain things in his line of work and with the nightmares they brought that no tricks could help scare them away. Hopefully he never had to find that out...

"What I'm saying Tony, is that when you really put your mind in it, you can manipulate your dreams... However, it will work much better when you share them with someone. It's not healthy to keep bad things inside your head. That way they have power over you..."

The thought seemed to scare Tony and he moved closer to Howard.

"Talk to me... I promise I won't share your dreams with anyone, unless you tell me to..."

"Senior..."

Howard clenched his teeth at the mention of the old man. He had seen few times the old and newer scars on Tony. Few times too many and it had been so hard to not just go and kill the man. Life for a life. The way he saw it, the man had stolen Tony's life from him. His childhood. And it was still too early to know if the kid ever would learn to be like a normal, happy, child.

"He... It wasn't really a dream... More... More like a memory of what happened..."

Howard listened with quiet fury as Tony recounted his dream to him. He swore in his mind that as soon as he returned to work, he would ask Franks for permission to start looking for anything that could possibly lock away DiNozzo senior for good. He would do it next to his own work of course. And if his boss wouldn't give his permission, then he would do it without permission...

By the time Tony had finished sharing his dream, he was asleep. Even in his sleep he was seeking comfort from his surrogate brother. The comfort which Howard gladly gave him and despite how much pain his uncomfortable position put him through, he fell asleep with his arms full of the small boy who had completely stolen his manly tough guy's heart. Possibly even more than his father's. Before the sleep completely got him, he made up his mind to spend rest of his sick leave to try to get the boy start eating properly. The kid needed desperately some meat over his skinny little bones and he also needed to start growing properly.

As the years went by and both Tony and the bond between the brothers grew, the nightmares never completely went away. But now they both had someone to talk to. Someone who was just a phone call away.

_**The End.**_


End file.
